Been down this path before

[RBinBR]

Leslie, the thing to keep in mind is that you can set boundaries and detach without giving him the cold shoulder.

I don't think the cold shoulder is good at all. You don't have to "be there" for him, and in fact you can "ignore him," but you should do it cheerfully, as though you're having much more fun not worrying about him.

The cold shoulder only communicates that you are angry with him and are rejecting him, which will not help you get him back.