I have posted a couple of times before, and started over in piecing, but I think this may be a more fitting place for me to try and get out this frustration! In a nutshell, H moved out last August and began heavily passionate affair with co-worker. I have read DB and other books and read this BB daily, H returned home twice, then took a job out of town and said OW was to move there with him. A month later he's calling again, told OW he couldn't live with her now, she moved 5 hours away...H and I start "working" on things long-distance, he asks me to move up here with two S's (9 & 5). Two weeks after moving in, H says he can't love me like I deserve and can't stop thinking about OW, he resumed contact with her and says he has to see her to know for sure, but feels that our marriage is over.
I am hurt and angry. Our boys did not deal with our separation well, and there has been a notable improvement in them since we've been back together. H regularly brings up relationship talks, but it is the same, that he doesn't want to spend his life wondering if his love for OW is true love, and he doesn't want to hold me back. He is depressed about his life, can't manage his finances or his responsibilities because he is not "happy."
Of course I want him to be happy. but I also want our boys to be, too. My H and I have had some wonderful moments during the past three months of "working on it," his freak out came when we finally were all living together. I am trying to find us a new counselor, he wants to go alone, but doesn't want to go together under "false pretenses." I feel liek his issues outside of our marriage are so major, it would be wrong to make any marital decisions until he is on a more stable path.
I know this is a rambling post, not even my style. Today I am very down, feel almost nuerotic and nauseous...I truly would welcome any thought or comments, I feel lost right now...
