Quote: And, this is where the WAS gets lost, especially in the marriages of many years. They forget why they married you, had a family, and made plans for the future. Call it MLC, or whatever, they become selfish, self-absorbed, needy, have affairs, and are very confused. It is up to us LBS to figure it out, to be strong, and patient
I agree with all of this. It's just that although I know that I am doing the right thing by trying to save the M; when I see indifference in Hs eyes, I feel like dirt. Sometimes I wonder that if the love dies, does it ever come back? What if he constantly measures me upto ow and finds me wanting?
Quote: anger has a rightful place when one has been betrayed. As long as one doesn't hold on to it forever. Forgiveness must eventually be given.
I am trying really hard. Sometimes I can almost manage it, then something reminds me and off I go again, holding the grudge.
Quote: I have found being detached from H's fantasy, selfishness, and lying, ultimately was what kept me sane. And, I think, won him back.
Wow, it's great that you won him back.
Journalling:
After all my great intentions on Friday, I blew it small time on Saturday and big time on Sunday. I find myself reacting to Hs actions all the time. I need to learn to detach from H. I think the one thing I should probable accept is that although H has broken (may have?) off from ow, he has not yet re-committed to me nor does he feel he loves me. So I should not accept that he can be any kind of a husband to me or accept him to behave like a husband.
I need to control my expectations off him and learn how to establish my boundaries in a firm, loving way. Okay, today is another day!
My goal for today (as for the weekend):
Be much more aware of my actions and reactions. Think before I react. If I get angry about something, ask myself how a person of integrity would react.
I'll report tomorrow how I did. If I take this one day at a time, I am sure I can do it.
