Grasshopper, I am unaware of PL's sitch but I do like her advice as I am going to take it as well.
Quote: 1) When in doubt, DON'T 2) DON'T
You are an amazing DBer, and you have been hanging in there when I might have failed, for months. But now that I am on the outside, watching your sitch, I can see things Let your wife be. Let her BE. She will tell you when she is ready to talk. If you pursue her to seek reassurance, she will back track. I am sure. I know you said you think you might be able to ask her about the R in a neutral way with no expectations. Well, then why do it at all?
This is where I also have problems. I do need reassurance that things are going in a positive direction. This I believe is my selfish, childish, insecure self. I think we are alot alike in the fact that we are overly obsessive (obviously, by looking at the amount of time we both spend on this board - lol). This is all we think about. We need that mental stop sign. Let's just let things BE, for a while. If and when our spouses are ready to have a R talk let it be on their terms, when they are ready. Let them be the one's obsessing over what to say for a change, let them approach us. We are carrying the weight of this R all on our shoulders and it is making us insane. Let's make a deal that we both keep our mouths shut, just for the weekend, then come Monday morning we'll try to make another deal. Sound ok with you?
