Man, I feel for you right now. I know EXACTLY what you are going through and it is extremely tough. I struggle with this stuff almost daily because I have no clear direction of where things stand and I wonder whether OM is still int he picture, whether he isn't, whether she feels good about the future, whether she doesn't, etc., etc. The fact is, and to be blunt, I believe that she has no frickin' clue about any of it. And if she doesn't know, then how the heck can she tell me?

You may need to think about it in these terms. Maybe the OM is out of the picture or mostly out of the picture, maybe he's not. Is knowing either was going to change how you think about things? I recognize that you want direction, but you likely won't get it now. Everything is still in a state of flux at this point. I do believe that it is perfectly valid for you to state your feelings and I support that. I just am concerned that you may be seeking some reassurances here that may or may not be forthcoming.

By the way, I had to chuckle when you mentioned that you are an excellent DB'er when things are going relatively well....it reminds me of a post you made to my thread one time that went something along the lines of "I'm gonna DB until she does something to p*ss me off, then the gloves are off!"

"Achieve success, but without vanity; Achieve success, but without aggression; Achieve success, but without gain; Achieve success, but without force." Lao Tzu