I guess, stating from experience, don't have the TALK unless you can be sure of the reasons why you need to talk (the motivation), what your goal is in having an R talk, and whether your spouse is at the point where you'll get more than the "stare off in to space." This is the one area that I have been trying to improve and, I might add, have improved to some degree, but not yet perfect The fact is, if they aren't ready to talk, you'll get nowhere and likely frustrate yourself in the process.

Like you GH, I find myself in that really interesting phase of "stillness"....in some ways, its harder than "crisis" phase because now, we are really left without much direction and our goals are likely less clear.

"Achieve success, but without vanity; Achieve success, but without aggression; Achieve success, but without gain; Achieve success, but without force." Lao Tzu