Entering Limboland...GH Saga Part 8

[PArob]

Alas, my good friend, I know exactly the feeling you describe. I wish I could be more of a cheerleader this morning, but maybe I'll stick to pointing out a couple of things instead. First of all, I still like the point you made yesterday about effectuating changes in the relationship based upon what YOU are doing. I really think this is key. Your W, much like mine as we have already established, is not likely to make the changes on her own. Its so much easier for them to slip into the "old" mode because, quite frankly, its easier than making changes. Quite frankly, if they had had the werewithal to make those positive changes, it is likely that the A wouldn't have occurred in the first place. Now I'm not suggesting that our W's are weak, but I'm also basing this upon experience. Changing "old" habits in an R takes work...a lot of work. I mean, you and I have seen for ourselves how hard it is to change our behaviors, reactions, etc. In my sitch, it was easier to seek emotional support outside my M as opposed to making the changes necessary to have that emotional support in my M. Can't explain why, but it required less work.

Now, your W and mine both seem to on the fence here as to the next step. It appears that both of them have cooled things off with the OM and are now stepping back to examine the M. This is really a crucial time for you and me. Effectuate those positive changes, show her that you have changed, and changed for good.

As for talking, it may be a good idea to at least bring the subject up in a direct way. Look, at some time, you are going to have to. I think the best tact here is to have a simple, direct way of stating that you want to know where things stand. Gauge her reaction, if the time is right, she will talk. If not, you will know it and you can pull back and examine. The point being, you will never know if you don't at least try. That's my humble opinion.