Entering Limboland...GH Saga Part 8

[RBinBR]

The point I was trying to make is that I don't think that DB'ing or anything else is a "magic solution." If DB were, every story on these boards would have a happy ending -- and we sadly know that isn't the case. The fact is, though, that Divorce Remedy is full of a number of techniques, not all of which can be applied at the same time. That's why Michele advocates 180's and experimenting. I certainly don't think that Michele would argue that she has a monopoly on good ideas for ending affairs.

I also think that "the best plan" very much depends on the individual sitch. For example, the biggest reason that Michele is against kicking someone out is that this could cause them to file for D -- which doesn't really apply to me, since my W still has over 21 months left before she can legally do that.

I think that men and women are different in their affairs, because I think more men generally start affairs because of sexual attraction to the OW, while women are generally more hesitant to start an A until they are "in love" with the OM. It's clear to me that the strategy used for a S who is simply using an OP for sex is different from someone who thinks that the OP is their "soulmate."

In other words, I don't think any amount of GAL, "as if", etc. would have worked for Hilary Clinton with Bill. He did what he did with Monica "because I could." I think that the only way she could have gotten any results was through a "tough love" forcing of the issue.

So anyway, my approach has been to read as much as possible, and then apply what I believe will work best for my particular sitch.

I felt a little strange posting that stuff because there ARE plenty of examples of folks here mixing and matching theories with GREAT success. You are probably one of those able to do that.

Ha! I was very close to great success this weekend, but it slipped through my fingers. We'll see what happens -- but thanks for the vote of confidence.