You know one of the hardest things to figure out in my situation is just where things stand. Oh sure, I could just ask W every five minutes but she's already told me that she's "trying to get back to us" and I know for her that means actions, not words. SO, I am left watching more than communicating and these days, what I see is pretty encouraging. Then we get to yesterday...
The night before last I was cleaning out my car and found the Victoria's Secret Angel's card packaging (I got one a month or so ago for Valentines day) and there was a coupon book I didn't remember looking at. I noticed that there were offers for each month and of course, THIS month's offer was almost expired. What's a guy to do? I still dunno if it's ok to buy her things from there or not (other than PJ's), but that's just because I don't fully buy into what I see/hear from my W. Once again, Victoria's Secret is NOT automatically linked to sex in my house but still it is on the romantic side of life for sure and, well, there isn't much romance in our life right now...but I hope to change that so maybe a little something won't hurt.
IF I am going on face value, it should be about time to start acting like the man I USED to be in terms of gift giving, etc. I decided that I would at least go by and see if there was something I thought she would like and then I could get the free panties that were part of the offer. I ran over during my lunch break and immediately saw a rack of clearance stuff. Low and behold, there were a pair of workout pants like the kind my W likes in her size. I grabbed them and got one of the clerks to take me to the panties I got for my "free gift".
I was still slightly conflicted about giving her this unexpected gift...oh, and BTW, I did a little thing for her on Wednesday by replacing some lotion we can only get from a store near where I work. It was appreciated but not overly so. I did't think she thought it was a gift or anything. It was just a nice thing to do, but I thought the VS stuff may come off like I was trying to gift her to death after years of not doing that. Remember, I used to do little things like that ALL the time and she seemed to like it. Don't know why I stopped. Just another one of those mysteries that happens to us in marriage. I am determined to BE the man I want to be in this R and that means romantic gift giving so WTH...
In the end, I decided that I was just going to do what my gut told me to do and give it to her. The twist, and this may sound small but maybe not, is that instead of just handing her the bag when I got home from work like I always do, I just told her in a playful way that "if she was good, I had something for her at the end of the night." She acted amused and asked what that would be (no doubt thinking I meant to make an attempt at sex) and then went about the cleaning that went on until around 11:30 (whole house needed to be done...we worked hard). When I knew she was done and ready to relax, I made a comment on how nice things looked and how we did a great job. She said she wished it always looked like that and seemed happy. I went to my car and got the bag. When I walked in, she smiled and said "wow, ANOTHER gift", not necessarily in a welcoming tone. I guess she took the lotion as a gift too...
When she opened the bag though I realized that luck/fate/God, whatever was smiling on me because it just so happens that my W was looking at the exact pants as the ones I got a few weeks ago (I wasn't there) and didn't get them because they were too expensive. She was ecstatic! The she saw the panties and was even happier. They are a different style than she usually wears but she said she was going to start wearing these from now on (I saw that she had one pair in her drawer when I was doing laundry which is why I got them). She was ALL smiles. She even tried on the pants right then! I got a HUGE hug and even a kiss. Not really a romantic kiss, but she seemed like she was attempting one, lol. I think I missed the boat on that one but oh well. It was very unexpected and I was caught off guard. She usually presents a cheek to me when we kiss these days. I didn't remember what to do with lips, lol! We hugged for longer than ususal, me kinda picking her up, her pulling her leggs off the floor. It was really nice.
I have never, and I mean NEVER seen my W so happy to get a gift before. Who knew?
I got two or three more hugs before the end of the night along with several thank you's. She also said that if I was ever looking for something else to get she liked...
I guess it pays off to get her what SHE likes, NOT what I like...lol.
Needless to say, it was a GREAT night. I finally listened to my gut/instinct and it payed off. I think that is the evidence I needed to see that my changes are paying off. Before my instinct usually resulted in doing the WRONG thing by her.
This was a nice baby step. I am still on guard but I can tell you that these are uncharted waters for my R with my W. Maybe in the EARLY days did we talk this well or interact so easily but I can't really remember that time.
I just hope this is all real and not some elaborate deception. For now, I am going to trust it and move forward. If I turn out to be wrong, then I will take responsibility for what happens to me. This is my choice and I think it is a good one. I will live with the consequences whatever they may be.
