Another night in limbo. W was on edge last night. Her parents, sister, BIL and their kids will all be staying the weekend at our house this weekend and as usual, she is stressed about all the preparation, cleaning and such that needs to get done. I understand this but her shortness with me and general attitude almost got me to snap on her, but at the last minute, as I was walking down the stairs to tell her to change her tone and attitude since I was already doing all I could to help out, I remembered Mars/Venus and told myself she was just venting and that I SHOULD NOT TAKE IT PERSONALLY. I stopped taking it personally, stopped myself from confronting her, and instead gave her a hug and said I thought she was doing well getting things ready and that together we would get it all done. She sighed and started talking about certain things left to do and how she was afraid of not getting them done. She was now talking to me as someone who cared. I just said I understood how stressful it was but I knew she would do what it took, she always does. From that point she was a little more relaxed and wasn't that snippy towards me until the very end of the night. As she was heading to bed and I was looking for my FIL's video camera (I need to do some editing for him) and I was in the garage, spare room, and eventually in the laundry room looking for it. I was getting nervous because I didn't remember where I put it. When she saw me in the laundry room she, even though she knew what I was doing, she asked me why I was in there. I said I was looking for the camera. She said "In the laundry room?" with a kind of sarcastic "I don't believe you" tone. It was really weird. She just stood there after that until I was done and then made a comment like "Well, I hope you find what you're looking for, I'm going to bed." She never really makes a big deal out of going to bed like that. That used to be MY department.
Maybe it was my imagination but it seemed like she thought I was looking for something else. Why else would she get like that? Wonder, if I am right, what she thought I was looking for and why she seemed so interested in my being in the laundry room? Ok, enough speculation Matlock. Of course, it could be that I was looking for a video camera in the laundry room...lol.
I am taking a positive from the night overall because not only did I have a GREAT workout but I managed to control emotions that in the past would have started an argument. Not only did I control them but I think by doing the opposite of what I used to do (and really, according to Mars/Venus the RIGHT thing), namely validating her and comforting her instead of trying to fix her, I improved the situation.
I really just made news out of nothing but I guess the little things all add up. I just hope they are adding as fast as they subtracted to get us to this situation.
