Wholey carp! I say I am away for the day and Tim pops in. Wow. Thanks man. I know you are doing great (we email pretty regularly) but others here don't. Update your thread.
As for your comments...
Quote: You are doing awesome my man! You told me once not to long ago how far I had come since we first started talking on this board.....and you have travelled a long way on this journey also! Be proud of the person you are and who you are becoming!
Thank you. I feel I have indeed traveled a bit down an exciting new path in my life. I am proud so far!
Quote: Stay the course. I agree with OT that you need to be more direct and let your W know exactly how YOU are feeling. Don't leave anything up to debate in her mind about you. Be assertive but not over powering.
If you have read, and read between the lines a bit, you know this is the hardest part for me. I guess you could say I am a conflict avoider, but not so much that I could never do these things, just enough that I will have to work to get there. It's coming.
Quote: The one thing for you GH is your W sees all the positive changes you have made! She sees the man she knows she wants to be married to! She just can't open up and admitt to it because of what she has done. You have to be able to foregive her and that takes time, and an open heart. She has to do the same, but for herself nad what she has done. That takes time!
Time, yea, that great friend of ours...lol. Yes, I agree with all this and that's why I am ok with limbo for the time being. I know she has trouble opening up and so long as I see progress, I am ok without asking her to do so...right now. All things in due time.
Quote: Your W may not verbalize itike my W, and just slip back into your marriage. Just keep up your growth and the changes you are making personally to keep her on her toes, and excited to be with you!
Yep, she won't verbalize. Here's the thing about my changes and keeping her excited to be with me, etc. I really feel that I have been ok to be with a lot of our marriage but I did have annoying traits, the worst of which was neediness. Over the last, say 2-3 years I became this angry, bitter, unhappy man who yelled at his kids and was not fun to be around AT ALL. I think that the mere fact that I am not THAT guy these days is doing wonders and added to that my changes that have taken me towards being BETTER than even the man she WAS ok with being married to may deliver us to the marriage promised land so-to-speak.
What I am saying is that I am SURELY going to bring the excitement back to our marriage but I am focused on removing the anger, resentment and fatigue first before I can introduce fun, excitement and passion again. It's probably 6 of one 1/2 dozen of another but it's how I think about my sitch. I think in my particular case, that is the recipe for success. For some others, maybe not.
Thanks for making your triumphant return on my thread and keep in touch...here AND via email.
