W and I just got done watching History of Violence. Pretty good movie. It was really strange. For the first time in a LONG time I got emotional for no real reason at all. I guess it was sitting there on the couch with W, on opposite ends, just watching the movie. It made me miss the times when we would snuggle to do that, and also it made me get a vision of what her and the OM probably do/did. Remember the stack of DVD's I found in her car...
It passed. I am fine now. It was just totally unexpected for me to get that way these days after being so strong. I guess limbo can really get to you if you're not careful.
Oh, and no decision on the R talk yet. Not tonight for sure. Not after that little episode.
BTW, she had no idea I got upset. It was dark...
EDITED IN----
I was just thinking about what happened and it dawned on me why I got upset. It wasn't really missing anything, or the vision, it was worse. I realized that our life is now back to normal...and I hate it! I don't want a passionless marriage where we pass in the hall, live in seperate rooms and maybe, if I'm lucky, have $ex once a month. I DON'T WANT THAT ANYMORE and I realize now that once again, that's what I have. It's what I have been afraid of since this began. I have been afraid that my W would just try to go back to what was. Maybe I really need to have that talk soon. If this continues, I have no choice because this can't be how our NEW marriage goes.
