Ok, ok...geez. That's what I get for stream of consciousness posting...lol.
ANYWAY, yes, ladies, I suppose I know those things and somehow my brain is shorting out. Either that or I was honest then and am trying to spin it now.
For all I know, I have already forgiven her. I would only TELL her that if she asked, but her asking is not why I would forgive her. Make sense? I feel like I have forgiven her for what she is doing, if it's possible to fogrive someome for something in the present that is. I understand it, and while I don't condone it, nor will I support it, I CAN get past it and see to what there is of our lives to move on with. The day WILL come when this is all over and I will have to look deep inside my heart and make sure I have truly forgiven her. That time is not here yet.
I think forgiveness has as much to do with acceptance of OUR OWN faults as it does theirs. It is the ultimate empathy. It is the only way we know how to say I hate what you did but I don't hate who you are in a way that conveys enough weight and emotional power to heal. Of this I am sure; I hate what my wife is doing but I do not hate her. Some people may never understand that concept. I hope I truly do.
So, thanks for the flurry of posts (wow, people DO read this stuff...lol) and from all this I really know I am NOT ready for this talk if only because I can't get my thoughts straight here, when I can edit them until they're the way I want them, let alone in a conversation with my W when things may get emotional.
