OT, maybe I mis-spoke. I did not mean to say I had forgiven her, just that I WOULD forgive her should she ask for that. I totally agree with you. She WOULD take it as condescending, martyring, holier-than-thou criticism as you say. She's still in the mode of thinking that I need to win HER back and she needs to forgive ME for what I did or didn't do to help get us to this point. That's fine. I can deal with that for the time being since I am in the process of self examination (and will always be I think).
SO, your concern is well founded and I was already with you on that. My mistake would have been to even mention forgiveness at all, then having to explain it as I just did to you. Thanks for the heads up. I will heed that advice.
As for me being ready to take the emotional risk right now, I am still trying to figure that out, which means I am not ready. I may be by tomorrow, or the next day, or next week. We'll see. I am just trying to make sure I really know what I want to say first, not so much to elicit certain responses from her, but to make sure I don't have to do this again and again just to make my point. I want to talk and listen and have it be productive. Sounds simple, but we all know it's far from it.
