Communication about what you feel and what you want sounds good if you are ready to take that emotional risk with her.
I would caution you against telling your W you forgive her. I told XH that I forgave him everything and it made him furious -- he did not feel there was anything to forgive although he had become involved with at least one OW and lied to me about it at that point. Maybe 2 years later he wound up apologizing, but at the time, he took my forgiveness as condescending, martyring, holier-than-thou criticism. If your W wants forgiveness or even really gets that there is something to apologize for, she will apologize.
Maybe she has, but I'm under the impression that she has just said she was sorry that things are so hard for you, not that she is sorry about having an A. Indeed, I doubt she is sorry about having the A yet, at least insofar as it being a betrayal. My guess would be that she is still rationalizing it left and right.
Besides, have you really forgiven her? The more you can really do so, the more it will help you... It is great that you are trying and have come as far as you can. But the most important thing about the forgiveness right now is that it helps you. And, then when she is ready for it, you will have it to share with her.
