Your wife said that. "Life is about learning to control your urges, gaining control of self so that all that physical stuff is no longer important. Please respect me and stop all these requests for closeness. If you love me, you'll do whatever it takes to make this happen. And if you do not, then you are breaking our vows, promises made to each other and to God."
From what I"ve seen from your other posts I think you guys are perhaps "religious" (for lack of a better term) or moral people. If you are church going folk...then what your wife said about you'll do what she is requesting as that was your "promise to God"...(above).
I Cor. 7:5...says that married people should not withhold sex from each other..except if BOTH people consent to it..and it should be for a certain specific period of time only...but that you need to come back together again becuase if you don't you'll be tempted to have an affair. In vs. 3 & 4 it says that in marriage neither of us has the power over our bodies...that our bodies belong to each other and we need to give to each other what that person needs.
Your need is RIGHT and legitimate.
Regarding how long she sleeps and physical issues. Maybe she is a bit overweight...anyway, several books I've read...what you eat can make you sleepy, stress can give you headaches (3 kids in 8 years), being overweight can make you sleepy as well as stress.
Her weight and what she eats can affect her back, her sleep, and her moods (stress; depression). It's amazing what effect a diet change can have on everything. All kinds of info. on this. Good carbs are great...but white flour carbs...create HUGE problems...all of which many people suffer from and what most of America eats!
I don't know what intimacy or sex would bring up that is painful to her. Abuse? or? These are issues that need to be dealt with. Major issues!
For a couple NOT to have sex is not what is intended in marriage. Unless both don't need sex.
Gotta go to a ball game...all the best! Don't give up...but don't give in!
