Mom of two, my H dropped his bomb on Feb. 21st 2002. We have 2 teenage sons. H never did move out, in fact I did (to give us each space)in April for 1 month because his ups and downs were getting to me too. He asked me to come home after 2 weeks. NOT to start over with us (his words) but to get me back in my own house and back together with my sons. Since I have been back however he has seemed more at peace and little by little (very little by little) I am seeing baby steps. Yes the kids did have A LOT to do with him not D'ing me, he got close. But decided he didn't want to put them through a D. Sometimes I think he's only with me now to keep things the same (finances,etc.)and that one day he'll say that he just can't do this anymore and wants out for good this time. But as time goes by I don't think so, he's a little more responsive all the time. I told him I didn't want to live in an affectionless/loveless marriage and he said he wanted to work on that. We have a long way to go because a lot of damage has been done in 19 years. Luckily there was no OW. I'd say we're on the road to recovery. I never believed he was totally out of love with me, but I think he wanted to be. He was fighting his feelings. Now I'm concentrating on being the wife I should have been for all those years and even trying to be a girlfriend to him at the moment. It's kind of fun! We're going away to a cabin by a river this Saturday and when I told him that he wanted to make sure no one else was going (other adults.) I said "nope, just us" Not even the kids. This is a VERY condensed version of all that has transpired in 5 months. Good idea for a thread. [Wink] take care, Lisa

tielbeagle