Wow - that entire post was freaky. That is me and my H. Just this week we had the whole "work up" to the sex and then when the moment came, I did exactly what your W did, lost all momentum. And I'm the HD, he's the LD. But I really don't think that is the issue. It just the way the two people are "clicking" or not. Sounds like this has been a pattern for you for most of your M, as it has been in mine. I know you have more imagination than that... don't you have any fantasy's? I can't get in the mood when you just roll over here I've said as much to my H. And his answer was no about the fantasies she said "I don't care if you have fantasy's - count me out - I have no desire to fullfill any of them... I like myself just the way I am and have no desire to change." ) Ouch. Well, my H has not come out and said exactly that but when he was in his depression he came close. So, we did end up having a good time after all the talking I got more confident and went for it That's good! We weren't so lucky. she thinks that if we communicate about sex or she tells me what she wants or likes then she is "giving me instructions - leading me by the hand" and that turns her off. So, instead I'm supposed to just DO IT - TAKE HER like a man and be ready for her to either like it or get pissed. I have said that exact thing to my H! Women...we're difficult. We want it the way we want it and if it feels "off" we can lose desire, even HD's. I have no words of wisdom just throwing some empathy your way, for you and your W. It's hard to sustain a strong sexual connection, especially if it has been strained throughout the M. People do get Bored with each other. That's the reality of most M SL. It takes lots of work. I think couples are often afraid to talk about that obvious fact, boredom. So she is giving you clear advice. Take charge. I have told my H this so many times and he rarely can manage to assert himself enough to pull it off. Maybe that is your problem too. Just speculating. Do you feel like you can do what she asked, "do it - take her like a man?" I think a lot of women have that fantasy/desire. I know I do. Sigh.
