Well, unfortunately I can relate to what your wife did here. So the upside is, your wife is not alone in the unrealistic and selfish manner in which she is behaving. It must be quite common!!! I can say that about her because I did quite similarily to my H! Wrongfully!
She is looking for you to push her buttons. The problem is that they are forever changing and can't be counted on. She is looking for you to read her mind. But that cannot be done...especially a woman's mind!
I think what some of the women have said here is true and this may be what they mean. Women have to take responsibility for their sexuality. We can't leave our H guessing...we have to express what we'd like or want. Find a way to do it if you can't come out and say it. Email it!!! That works well...maybe ask her to do that.
I'd get mad at my H because he wouldn't hold my hand ...that was dumb. I should have just held his! As well as taken the same stance in the bedroom.
Ok, well that doesn't really help you. You are not alone in what you face. I can say that I saw the light...and continue to see the light...I haven't arrived.
If you wife had other women who had "gotten wise" to talk to...that would probably be the greatest help!
I know it is frustrating. It doesn't mean that she doesn't love you...it means she doesn't have a clue as to how selfish she is being. But don't tell her that!!!! And even though you have every right to be mad....expressing in anger will only make her defensive and distance the two of you.
Is she willing to read? I read some things on this site recently that Michelle and others posted that dealt with this very thing. Maybe you can kindly give her something to read telling her that other women have had to deal with the same things.
Whatever you can do to kindly communicate to her what you are feeling...
I'm so sorry...keep at it! Don't stop trying or communicating what is going on with you...love her, but do what you can from your heart and don't try and jump through the hoops to please her...you never will!!!!
