how do you deal with this?

[PositivelyListening]

Hi GH, Thank you so much for this fantastic post. You are right

What I mean is that you are losing patience and I think it is possibly making certain things seem more important than they might otherwise be. I KNOW trust and honesty are important to you but you knew going into this that those were things, along with physical affection, romance and emotional support, that you would NOT get from H until this was over.

I claim periodic amnesia from the reality that I will not get my needs met right now Thank goodness I have you around to remind me what I signed up for. I do remember. I think I just want to forget sometimes when it gets hard

I think I regularly forget also that I am not in a R with him. He looks like my H, sounds like my H, but just doesn't act like my H in a lot of ways. It REALLY reminds me of when I was caring for my mom who had Alzheimer's. It looked like her, and every once in a while I would see glimpses. The good thing about my H is there is hope it COULD get better. It is possible that one day he will remember me again, or even more likely, rmember himself again. You are so right, GH, I am just being impatient. I wish the time was now.

The last thing I can say, is that yes, detachment IS the only answer and I don't agree that it's dishonest or anything of the sort. What you are saying when you detach is that "I love you but I am not going to allow my emotions or actions to be dictated by YOUR emotions or actions. I still care but I no longer will be affected by you. I will no longer react to you."

Thanks for saying this. I forget that just because I am not being big with my anger or my tears, that I am still atached in that I am letting my H's way of being affect me. This is my work. Since I am seeing him tonight, for a hotel stay, it is SUPER important that I got this message today. Thanks again. This piece, I will try my best to fry into my brain, which is the answer to my question about when:

When he decides what he is doing in his life and should that decision include trying to rebuild a M with you, THEN maybe it's time to visit the issues of trust and honesty.

I better get busy! I have some more DBing to do between now and then. GH, thanks more than I can say. I will be here with you again especially if the amnesia returns