how do you deal with this?

[RBinBR]

So, I am thinking I should prepare for anything, so I won't react - right? Like, what if he says, "I'm moving to Germany, have a great life" ? Or, "I want to move back in with you, and be your friend and business partner and stay married, but keep OW on the side indefinitely"? Or, "I know what you're like and you'll never change" which for some reason really ticks me off (and I know he thinks that - and he said it too, to my D) I am unprepared for most of the bad and awful things that he could easily say. The only one I really know how I will respond well to, is "I love you, will you forgive me?" And I'm not expecting that talk any time soon.

I'll say it again -- none of things that he says mean anything! My W has told me several of them. She's told me that she loved me and ended it with the OM and asked for my forgiveness, and she's told me that she wants a divorce to marry the OM ... and both times she's then changed her mind and we're still in limbo.

By all means have the R talk with him if he initiates it, though. Try to stay positive and don't get angry (advice I'm giving but didn't take last time). Just remember that the talk means nothing ... what he actually does is what counts.