how do you deal with this?

[PositivelyListening]

Hi my friend Mr_MD,

I will surely miss you while you are gone! I hope you have a wonderful trip. A getaway right about now could be so refreshing for you. I love work trips, hotel and food all paid for in some great location, where they make your bed and clean your room every day too. That's great - enjoy And I will really be looking forward to your contributions when you get back, as you are a touch stone for me on this journey.

I wanted to thank you in particular for the comment you made about the possibility that I had jumped to a conclusion without really having any idea what my H meant or what he was thinking. I notice when I am "off center" in particular that I just plain make stuff up. This used to bug my H too - he would say "what you make up!" when I would tell him where I had gone in my head with some innocent comment on my H's part. So that was a real issue in our communication, only made harder because I was an English major in college, and love the intricacies of language and often rely heavily on people's word and revel in the tiny nuances of that. My H on the other hand, I believe felt that I "had one up" on him in this regard, as he immigrated and did not speak english as his first language. I find him amazingly articulate and intelligent, but especially in an argument I do not think he was as quick as I was (and I am more the talker anyway). So I have been in a lot of inquiry about how this quick wordiness of mine was damaging to our relationship when misused. I did not listen enough. And more to the point, I did not check out if what was said was what I thought it meant. I wasn't asking, I was assuming and presuming. I have noticed recently that I do this a lot. I make stuff up. And it gets me in trouble.

So you wise mister doctor, caught my imperfection perfectly, and thank you. I am so grateful you are here. Sometimes I can't see for myself what others can offer so clearly and lovingly for my growth. I am most appreciative, and will slow down and ask questions when my H is here for dinner tomorrow night.

I will miss you, so have a great time, but hurry back!