Get the professional advice first, then decide. I hope you're not trying to be Mr. Nice Guy to get back in the loop again (forgive me if I'm off base, but you've established a bit of a pattern--you've admitted to being a bit of a control person too).
Get out of the loop. Stay out. Give her the space she needs. Get the space you need. L-e-t G-O! Let the professional sort out the taxes, and if you're feeling generous, let the tax person transfer the money to her account--don't follow up--don't snoop--don't contact--stay black-ops dark!
