Help. I took a leap of faith

[RBinBR]

In response to questions. Months before the separation I had cut back on drinking. She noticed. She said it was great. But she still wanted out. I am still reluctant to drink a beer. I'm really taking my health seriously. It's better being sober. I do have religious beliefs. In the past few weeks I have been volunteering at church. I have taken a good look at myself and have made dramatic changes.

That's awesome! Right now, your W is probably seeing those changes and wondering if they are a temporary thing that you're doing to try to get her back. Show her that they are permanent by continuing to GAL and live your life independently of her.

If you keep pursuing her hard, she'll simply think that you'll do anything to get her back ... and then probably go back to your old ways after you get her. If you stop pursuing her, though, she'll be able to see that you made those changes for yourself, simply because you wanted to be a better person.

For myself, I wouldn't trade this experience for anything. The changes I made in my life after my W left have made me a much better person, and I wouldn't want things to be the way they were before her affair.