ok. Today was kinda crazy. I printed up all of your reply's. They're helpful. Thanks. About the whole situation I do understand that it is still being needy. First of all yeah I intentionally sent that picture to her but made it seem that it was to somebody else. No more of that. Promise.
Yesterday I called my buddy that is living at the house if he could pay me back the money I had lent him. He met me and claimed that my W wanted the garage door remote. I told him nah. Then I asked my W if she could help out with the cell bill she racked up on me.The day before that, I had gone by the house to pick up the DB/DR books. My W wasn't there. My buddy's W was. I heard his kids in the garage. So I used the remote to open the garage. I scared the kids. All in fun. But I saw alot of boxes inside. My W last night found out and asked me what was up with that. I explained. She asked me for the remote. I ignored her. This morning she then asked me if now I'm going to ignore her. I told her that first of all I shouldn't have had her read those books. it was stupid and all that followed.I had told her that I am not going to give it up the remote. Because I might need it when if I move back in. She claimed that since the way I acted in the past it scares her that I still won't give it up. I told her that whatever is there in the house I don't care. OM's or not. I don't care. I have no reason to step foot on that property and she shouldn't worry. She seemed ugly about the situation and i told her that if she kept being ugly I will be ignoring her. I don't want a war. I don't want to argue. A friend mentioned that I may be coming off very needy and 'psycho' to her. So I text'd that I may seem needy and such but I am having fun with life. And I don't need her to feel great. There's plenty of women that'll be glad to be with me. She responded by saying that that's not the point but I seemed to have forgotten all that she had paid for when we were together and I can't pay for a cell bill how can I pay for a mortgage. I said I suppose I didn't pay for anything. She asked me if that was sarcastic. I responded: "Sorry it seems that way, Ya you have the good paying job. Remember some things though. "We're tight on money" "Ok babe I'll get a second job" "No wait. I'll miss you, I'll take care of it" "I'll go to school to get more money (I'm just 2 classes away)" "I don't wanna wait" I had solutions. We had an agreement. Now you throw it back at me. No matter what you weren't pleased." No response to that yet. I know it's still in the same cycle. But how do I not respond? How do I turn the tables? In response to questions. Months before the separation I had cut back on drinking. She noticed. She said it was great. But she still wanted out. I am still reluctant to drink a beer. I'm really taking my health seriously. It's better being sober. I do have religious beliefs. In the past few weeks I have been volunteering at church. I have taken a good look at myself and have made dramatic changes. Trying to find a better job. Right after this I'm going to revise my resume and post for several positions locally. With which I qualify for with a substantial gain in social status. Hey, maybe I can afford that house. I don't think I'll be able to live there because of all the memories. But I do believe I am taking great leaps towards being that changed person. Also getting back to being 'me' again. In the past 2 months we have been communicating on a great level. I would validate her concerns. I would say that I am to blame. I understand why. I understand what's going on. I see her point. I don't blame her. Then we would exchange pictures of our cats and dog and such. I have the dog. She has the cats. I was noticing improvement. What do I do now?
