Ok, Day 1. Day after dropping off the books I had asked my w about her injury she had the day earlier. She replied w/usual comments and then (this is 12p mind you and day 1 of her one week vacation) mentioned that she had skimmed through the books and that they were for people w children nothing relating to us. I then fell off my rocker. stating that the books do have situations w couples who do have children but it's about the couple's problems that was the issue. I then pleaded my case about how 'I have learned so much reading and can implement them in our relationship. Also that I wish I had the opportunity to read and study while we were still together. 'I messed up' I know now what can be done to solve our problems and prevent the stupid moronic problems that were present. My life has changed since and will stay that way because of how I have progressed.' She then mentioned that if I had not acted the way I did (pursuing, begging, pleading, depressed, etc. basic natural reactions) we would have had a chance to work things out but since then but so much has happened and she's realized alot. I then stated that in DR in Ch. 10 says that is a thing that is mentioned. No response. I kept 'texting' All we do is text eachother. Technology man. Texting is the way we communicate. No voices. Just texting. Anyway, back to the story....I wrote that 'So have I. I was stupid real stupid. I hung onto stupid ideas and actions that was unnecessary. I messed up. This lesson is going to stick. What I've learned is going to stick. My life has changed. With or without you I will still be a changed person. I really am sorry I didn't look for answers and solutions while I was still able to. Me then was not appealing.Me then was arrogant. Listening to bad advice. Drinking. Neighbors. Not wanting to do things with you like movies, playing w/her sister's kids.I've learned to prefer time w/you regardless where or how. Just to build a stronger relationship. I'm glad to give up a preference of mine for a greater preference whichis to have a good relationship. Peace and have maturity.' No response. By this time I'm thinking she just stopped reading my backing myself up. 2 hours pass. I write a letter. Pull some words out of it. and text her again. 'all in all I don't expect a change of heart so soon. I enjoy our friendship (o yea, I got to getting over being sad enough to be able to communicate w/my W about simple things and last week she was in the E.R. for her stomach and let me know that she didn't think she would be there alone cuz I would call in sick and whatever possible to be w/her the whole way through. She's in the hospital alot. ALOT. I offered to go over but she stated that she wouldn't be able to handle that. So I kept texting her w/ jokes and such. That next morning she text'd me that she had a very nice dream about me and thanking me for the day prior) don't wanna lose that by doing this. This will probably take years. And it probably won't. I can accept that. But it's all about baby steps. No rush either way. Time is our friend. Use it and let's take what we have very slow. Good judgement, patience is needed. DR ch. 10 xplains my initial reactions. Analyze since then. Rational thinking.' And that was the last thing I wrote to her today. Did she read it? Who knows. Thinking about apologizing about going off into my rant tomorrow.I'll consider it. Anybody have any advice? Also sorry about bouncing my story all over the place.
