Quote: In the back of my mind I don't see anyone else wanting someone like me. At least no woman of quality.
Frank, let me gently ask you this: Is your wife (the woman she is right now) a woman of "quality?"
I understand you are fighting hard to keep her because of who she once was. Frank, there are no guarantees that that woman is coming back anytime soon, if ever. If you were to list out the qualities of your W, as she is NOW, can you imagine scanning that list and thinking, "now that's the one for me?" I don't think you would. So, all you can do is quit fighting for that woman. What you are saying by doing that is "this is the best I deserve."
None of us want to hear that there will be others out there who will love us for who we are, because we don't want to give up on this dream. So, I won't go there.
Quote: But, I can't blame her for not seeing what I see. I've been studying and working on relationships. She has been trying to figure out who she is.
Bingo. She is nowhere near where you are. Only time and space can get her there. I know you know this, but I also know how hard it is to let go. I won't lecture you on that one; I know you have this realization and are struggling to put it into practice.
You know, something just struck me here. I don't mean this disrespectfully, either. You seem so sincere and like such a nice man, so I have no doubt that the woman you are fighting for is a woman of quality. However, you said 2 things that don't go together for me. You said A. She is a special woman to everyone she touches. B. She has nowhere to go, no friends that you know of to stay with.
Now, I live in the real world, so I know that it isn't easy for a middle-aged woman to find a place to live--after all, most people our age have their own lives going on. However, I do think it would be a lot easier for a woman as special as you describe. Frank, are you guilty of looking at your W through rose-colored glasses?
I don't mean to lecture you. I only want to help. I will leave you with this, and I am sure that Amy will agree:
When you think you do not want to be with your spouse, the more they tell you they love you or show love for you, the more you get it into your head that you are "safe" to feel this way. After all, if you change your mind later on, you still have that safety net. You don't even have to worry about what will happen in the future. All you see are two positives: 1. I will move on without my H and be happy 2. I will pick up where I left off with my H, no harm done.
I am not saying it is rational thought, but who ever said that people are always rational?
