Life goes forward

[BeingMe]

Sounds like your W is getting her cue about life, from the movies (or her friends are). I also agree with you that she is being nice to quell the guilt - doesn't want to be seen as the bad guy, hence all the excuses. I think you are doing the right thing by letting her go. She needs to see reality for what it is. And, you are taking control of your own life. I read in a book (can't remember the title right now) that, the one in control of the M, is the one who cares the least. So, try not caring too much, and let her know that the door is open for her to leave, and that she must know that you will be more than fine with it.

You're doing great, Frank! Keep it up! Unless you believe in reincarnation, then this is our only life, so make the best of the situation, and get excited about being on your own - it doesn't have to be a bad thing, if you won't let it. It doesn't even mean you have to go out and meet someone else - just have fun, and let the chips fall where they may.

Also, realise that those 'friends' cannot make your W do anything - this is her doing, and they may just be reinforcing her choices. Sounds like she has some fantasy in her head, and the friends are just going along with it. I found out during the darkest days of my H's confusion, who my friends really were, as it sounds you have. My H could've been your W's twin in that he also somehow managed to not let me know how he was feeling, how he was unhappy, etc. Well, as I tell him now, he is responsible for his own happiness - don't you give me that job, thank you very much. If he can't open his mouth to express his feeling, than don't come crying to me or anyone else that you are misunderstood. Oy! I have come a lonnnnnngggg way!

Well, that's my 2c worth!