As wise and intuitive as a 15 year old is, she knows nothing of what it takes to make a mature relationship work. It is true that she sees what is happening and sees that it would be easier for all involved to just call it quits, but that doesn't mean that that is the answer.
spitfire23:
I think kids often want a "quick fix". They are the techno generation, after all. Things are uncomfortable and D would like to get back to being comfortable. I had similar comments from my sons. They don't understand how long and painful it is to unravel a long-term R. How could they possibly understand that when they have yet to experience it?
I love you both, I really do.
Todays talk with W about 'what to do with the house' and her 'moving out in the summer' are facts.
D15 wasn't saying 'I want it over quick', she was saying 'I want you to stop suffering for no reason Dad'. She does spend time with W, and if she says W only wants me as a friend then she's getting that impression from somewhere.
She lives here every day. She see's our interactions. Hugs, friendlyness. She is an observer. SHe knows W is indecisive about MOVING OUT and said so. BUT she also thinks W is positive she wants a divorce. She was calm about it. She was just stating facts as she saw it.
Don't forget, W has been 'thinking' about this on and off for at least the past 3 years. She's journaled about it a year ago when she went to Hawaii in February 2005. She even wrote that her 'friend' said that she has done what she was supposed to do with me, and it's time to go onward in her journey. This is the kind of stuff in her head. It's only now that she went far enough to actually do it.
I dunno. I just think that I can't ignore D15's observations. She lives here.
I just don't know what to do. W keeps pushing me away. Tomorrow is our 'family photo' day for our last ever family portrait. Things are very sad around here.
I'm ok, I am just thinking I shouldn't have any more expectations or hope. I was already there. Now it's even more so.
