I think that its great what your doing here. I am a divorced dad of 2, and I do not have full custody of my children. I miss them terribly and I am going to get a new lawyer and fight to get custody from my ex.
She doesn't take good care of them really, does not provide the right kinds of food, doesn't take care of their hygeine at all (and they are still very small), pawns them off on anyone that will take them. She complains about having to be a single Mother constantly, but yet doesn't want to give up the $1000/month child support and let me have them full time.
I guess I'm looking for some advice on how to have a better attitude about my situation. I'm usually a very positive person, but I am having a very hard time staying positive when I see hear my children say how they dont get breakfast when they are at Mommy's because she wont wake up. When I get them their hair is all matted, long fingernails with black stuff all caked underneath, their shoes and clothing smells of animal waste and they don't want to go home because there is "junk and food all over the floor". When I confronted her about not bathing them every night or at LEAST every other night, she said she doesn't have time for that. They bath about once or twice a week. That just upsets me because they are going to get teased in school for being dirty because Mommy is too busy.
When we were divorce she wasn't nearly this bad, but I'm thinking that something has her in some sort of depression or may be she is even into drugs. Not sure, but I want my kids!
Not a very good first post but I guess that I needed to vent. I feel better. Thanks anyone that takes the time to read this.
"They said that God will not give me more than I can handle, but I wish he didn't trust me so darm much" lol
All I can say is document,document,document. Keep track of anything and everything. That way if in the future you do decide to go for a change in custody you will have it all there and it won't end up in a he said - she said sit. If you truly feel that X is being neglectful - you can get social services involved.
BTW - we aren't that far apart - I'm in the Yorktown area. I can give you direct contact info if interested - let me know.
I have a similar situation with my x and can only lend you this advice. It is about my children and what i did was just ask for them more often. Tell her that you are really hurting over not having the children and that you would greatly appreciate it if she would let you take them one extra night a week. I would be willing to bet that she would give them to you freely. I will not ask my wife for full custody of the children because i know that she will not give them to me. See, society doesnt look kindly on a mother that gives up her children. My x is so into image that she would never let that happen. I think that in some ways if you tell her that you just cant go on with out seing the kids, it justifys in their mind that they are doing a noble thing. It has worked for me and I now have the children between 3 and 4 days a week. My oldest of 7 years has just asked his mother and me if he can come and live with daddy, so you see you can get what you want with out going through the courts. you just need to be creative. I also agree my x would never give up the $3500.00 a month that she receives. But, like i said it is about my children and their well being. Just some ideas for you.
Man, I need to find another L. I only get $600/month for child support and He LEFT ME for another woman. I just don't get it. I thought the good was supposed to win out over the evil. Sorry, had to respond.
Thought I would respond. Taking care of the kids are the first priority. Great advise, ask for them a couple more times a week and if that does't work. Take food over to the house, something healthy and take with it paper plates and plastic utinsils. Keep the receipts and document. But above all and most importantly. Make sure that your ex isn't chronically depressed. Too much could happen if she is. Take care and I'll be checking in on you.
You guys are awesome. I have had my kids more than 50% of the time this summer and I think that my ex is realizing how much she likes her freedom. I'm hoping that this changes the way she views the custody thing, because she has time party and selfish. I wouldn't even ask for child support at this point, I just want my kids in a healthy, safe, clean environment. I'm happy, hope e1 else is doing ok.
Thanks for the great advice all you are great!
DD
"They said that God will not give me more than I can handle, but I wish he didn't trust me so darm much" lol
When you view these atrocities that your ex does to your children then you MUST document. Take pics with a camera phone if you have one, the date and time will be documented. These are YOUR children and you need to lead by example, trust me, when they see the good care and hygene you give them and the poor stuff she does the kids will notice, I assure you. Let her know how you feel and that you are going to be documenting
That just upsets me because they are going to get teased in school for being dirty because Mommy is too busy.
