Quote: We've established that it is dishonest to fake an O.
Is it dishonest to pretend to be aroused when you are not?
I think it depends on the answer to the question - Who is responsible for your orgasm and/or arousal? IMO the answer is always ultimately that the responsibility is yours and yours alone. I mean even if you just lie there and say "Do me, baby." (and there's nothing wrong with that sometimes ) you were the one who made the decision to give up the responsibility. However, your partner is bound to feel like part of the responsibility belongs to them, so I think it's a situation that calls for honesty but also extreme tact.
I'm feeling the desire to use a food analogy here but I will throw in the literal sexual translation also. If your partner took responsibility for cooking dinner(getting you aroused/bringing you to orgasm) and you just weren't hungry (feeling physically horny) or you felt like it needed more salt (wanted some different variety or intensity of sexual action) or you were still hungry (unsexually satisfied)after you ate what was prepared(after your partner came), what would you do? If I was still hungry (hadn't come), I would say or indicate "That was some fine f*cking it got me real hot but can I please have some dessert (finish me off).". If I felt like it needed more salt(more breast stimulation, for instance), I would probably just casually sprinkle some salt on (play with)my breasts(the side course) myself. If I just wasn't hungry, I would say or indicate "It looks great, but I don't have much appetite but please go ahead and eat yourself (maybe offer a blow-job or just enjoy the sex on the level of vaginal massage). I enjoy being here at the table(in bed) sharing dinner(physical contact) with you.".
However, I think your problem was really that you were too upset to eat (be horny)even though you asked for dinner(initiated sex). So, it was your well-intentioned dishonesty with yourself that led to your well-intentioned dishonesty with your partner.
"Tell me, what is it you plan to do with your one wild and precious life?" - Mary Oliver
) you were the one who made the decision to give up the responsibility. However, your partner is bound to feel like part of the responsibility belongs to them, so I think it's a situation that calls for honesty but also extreme tact. 