Mojo asks The Big Question

[MJontheMend]

I think my point is that, for some of us, the idea of "I'd be happy if I was single and not having sex, so why does it bug me so bad now?" is simply not true. I'd be climbing the walls and VERY eager to get back into a relationship so I could resume that part of my life again. For me, it's the same whether I'm in an R or not--lack of sex makes my life incomplete.

Okay, so you've determined that sex is absolutely necessary to your happiness, like food or shelter. Therefore, you should be willing to make great efforts in order to have it in your life. But then you are left with the dilemna of how much is enough. Could you be happy eating beans in a hut with sex every day? Could you get by with less sex if you lived in a palace with a personal chef? If I believe that I can only be happy if I get all the sex that I want, then I am saying that I can only be happy when I no longer have a sex drive. So if I need to have/feel a sex drive in order to be happy then I have to get less sex than I want. At first this seems like a paradox, I can't eat all the cake I want and still want to eat cake, but then I remember that cake is never really free. Therefore, you have to work for cake and working for the cake works up your appetite for the cake.... but then I remember this is also true for my H. It's hard to have much appetite for cake if you don't have to work for it.