Quote: The more relevant reply I will make is that I haven't chosen to go without sex, I've simply chosen to stop initiating sex
For some of us, choosing to stop initiating sex is THE SAME THING as choosing to stop having sex, since our partners DO NOT initiate. My bf has openly, directly initiated ONCE in 3.5 years.
Having said that, let me say that on Saturday night at dinner I proposed some playtime later. He said yes in a nice way. After dinner, he dawdled a bit, went out in the yard to have a ciggie, looked at the plants (he had spent ALL DAY working in the yard), piddled around some, and I fully expected him to sit down on the sofa and start watching tv which he has done many times when I've proposed playtime...
But I did not let him get away or "distract himself." We retired to the bedroom and without giving TMI, let me say that it was physically awful. Emotionally it was okay, sweet even, for two people so out of practice. But I did not experience even one speck of physical arousal. He did manual on me for a while until I couldn't take it any more because it was so awful-- I couldn't get into it.
I didn't ask him for oral, because he has indicated he doesn't like to do it on me, and I couldn't risk a rejection-- it would have undone me and I couldn't have held onto myself.
Then he proposed that I do oral on him, which I did, and he had an O. I just couldn't relax, couldn't force myself to be interested, and yet I knew that it had been such a hurdle to even Get Here, that I couldn't call it off midstream (so to speak). I was like a person who was starving and had to force myself to eat because I know my body needs food, but had to choke every bite down.
It was horrendous, awkward, uncomfortable. Fortunately it was not disgusting; I wasn't repulsed, just so totally not into it.
We were both very nice to each other, sweet, kind-- the EC part of it was tolerable, even okay.
I said I'm just so out of practice. We should practice more, and he agreed. He seemed very happy with the event, and complimented me several times later and the next morning.
The next day Sunday at dinner (we always say a spontaneous grace out loud before dinner) he prayed for blessings on various things and I threw in thanks for our intimate time, and he added, "yes, we have fun when we play," (and then addressed to the deity) "please help me to get there more often."
All you guys out there: stop smoking and drinking and if you have diabetes, high blood pressure, etc. do something about it now, before it's too late. Trying to have sex when you can't get an erection is *HELL*--
We've got a l-o-n-g way to go...
Which raises another question: we've established that it's basically dishonest to fake an O; is it dishonest to pretend you are aroused when you are not?
