Yeah, I understand your point, too, Chrissy.

Quote:

I think that answer for JJ was a turning point to find satisfaction or resolution to see that all the things she had with her H was not worth the cost of giving up for the one thing they did not have a rampant sex life.

When she stopped pushing, their sex life (I guess) backed off somewhat but did not disappear. ALSO, as a Seven, she was successful in distracting herself.

I'm not sure either of these things apply to me (if I back off, the SL will still exist; AND I will be able to distract myself from noticing the absence of something that gives meaning to our relationship). Believe me, I wish I could stop pondering this. It can't be healthy for me to keep going over and over this.

At Christmas when I got off the board, I had decided to do what it looks like JJ did, namely stop finding fault with his behavior/position and simply accepting the person he is. I stayed with that pretty faithfully for a couple of months and in that time he did initiate a hand job once. I was very happy-- and I felt on that day, if he would reach out (literally ) from time to time, I could live with the lack of hot sex that I remember from my past. And yes I did tell him this (not the part about the past hot sex) and we discussed it and he seemed to agree and we talked about me going with him to his therapist for a few visits (his therapist is a man older than he who also has ED, is a widower, and is married)... but lately I'm tired of pushing this rock up the hill by myself. He just doesn't seem interested in reaching a mutually satisfactory place. I'm so tired of working at this... very bad attitude today...

Another weekend at my house in the country... it could be so idyllic... but now I just dread these times when something might happen, but if I want it to, I have to dig down inside and find some interest in having sex... just venting and whining...

BTW my phone psychic whom I mentioned a while ago said this relationship is over and we both know it. I've talked to her probably six or so times over the past four years, and for the last couple of years she's been saying this. Her message is that he's doing better, but we are holding each other back, and it's time to move on. And no, she doesn't know me or anything about me. When I call, all I say is his name with NO background comments of any sort, and she launches into her comments. I give her NO information about what is going on. I just listen.

Okay, now I've really established myself as the Eccentric Old Lady of the bunch! Well, admit it-- y'all suspected it all along, didn't ya?