Trying to stay in Piecing

[BeingMe]

Remember this, if nothing else, Leslie. Nothing you did caused this A. It is not your fault. Don't you tell yourself this, or let him insinuate it. It is your H's bad choice to have the A, and he betrayed not only you, but the children too.

Did your H try and connect with you during this time of being withdrawn? Did he work on the M, and attempt to get through to you? And, if he wasn't happy, why didn't he just leave? Because, they don't leave unless there is someone to go to. That tells me that he couldn't have been that unhappy in the M. I was also withdrawn the last couple of years before the cr*p hit the fan in my sitch, and my H tried to blame me, saying I was withdrawn, so he became detached. Yet, I don't remember him ever coming to me, and communicating this to me. I knew there was some distance, and I was trying to work on myself, but we still had fun, going out with friends, going on dates, doing stuff with the kids. But, if anytime there was something negative, then in his mind, that was me all the time. No, I know what badness I contributed to the M, but I never deserved to be betrayed, and neither did you.

Okay, I will now take a breath! It is so good to vent sometimes on this bb.