First, thanks sabu, sincerely, for your input. You are right, I could have missed an opportunity to be supportive of him in that particular moment. Maybe I have a hard time with, on the one hand following DB principles and validate and be supportive and all, but on the other hand, my H says I don't open up and tell him how I feel. My objective in sharing my perspective on his one year of sobriety (which, FYI was forced upon him due to legal problems, and has been the only time in 15 years, that was nine years ago), was to give him some insight into why I had resentment towards HIM. I view that period in time as the beginning of our spiral. AND, later, he did tell me that he was surprised that I shared that with him, he always new that I had a lot on my plate then, and hearing me say that affected him. (Good, bad, I don't know yet).
Yeah, the OW is not the real problem, I know that. We have had a major communication breakdown our entire relationship. I have always let him do whatever he wanted at the expense of my own happiness, and realize now that created a lot of resentment on my part. But, I know that I let that happen, it's not his fault, and honestly, taking responsibility for it makes the resentment go away...
You had mentioned in an earlier post that I had better start opening up before he gives up, so, in this particular example, would you have suggested I not say anything about what that time was for me? (sincere question, honest)
