We were talking last night, my husband used to play in a band, and he commented that the one year he was sober (he is addicted to smoking pot) he had the most successful year as a musician, played 40 out of town gigs. I realized that that was the same year that our first child was born, and pointed that out to him, and did he realize what I was doing that year (full-time college student, full-time job, full-time mom). He immediately retorted that he is not a bad father! My point, and I shared this with him, was that was the beginning of me feeling that I had to take care of everything, that he was the fun and I was the work. This is one of our core issues.
Sorry in advance for being a pisher here, but: OK, did I read this right? Instead of complimenting your husband on his sobriety and letting him know you're proud of him and how he got at least one thing back on track (successful musician year) -- and thereby reduce the hostility and resentment in him -- you decided to turn it into all about *you* and yet another verse of that "look how you done me wrong" song.
And so many of us wonder why there's all this resentment and bitterness going on in our relationships ... sigh. Methinks y'all have bigger issues than OW to worry about right now.
Sabu
It's better to need someone because you love them than it is to love someone because you need them.
