How do you feel when he said he’s confused after a drive to the beach with you?
This actually isn't so bad, because last week he was pretty positive that he wouldn't "feel that way for me again." So him being confused is actually a step in the right direction, I think...
Quote: We been down this road before and then two weeks later, he would tell me that he can’t get over me. So, I don’t know how serious I should take what he said.
This I know full well. My H has done this since day one, almost like clockwork, every two weeks. As soon as he sees me moving on and enjoying myself (i.e he is not feeling pressure to reassure me or make me happy) he's knocking on my door. I've heard "(OW) is everything you are not" to "She could never be the woman you are" I just let it roll, he knows not what he says... In fact, I was just cleaning out my inbox and I have an email he sent at the end of Feb., when we had just started househunting together, anyway, I found out he emailed her some I miss you crap, and of course told him I knew (bad move), anyway his email says "I would do anything you asked of me to prove my love to you." Romantic and sweet? No, when considering he hasn't said I love you in weeks, and before I moved he said it too much.
BeingMe is right, detach detach detach, GAL, and be happy about what you do have that is good.
Lately what is scaring me is that I may realize that I am better off without him, or that my love is not "true love" and just caring about a 15 year relationship. It's the whole be careful what you wish for thingy. That, along with other childish jealousy things where he can't have someone to love before I do
And, this go 'round of I want you now I don't is different in that before, when he decided he wanted to leave, he couldn't stand to be around me. Now, he still wants to do things together all the time, called me for lunch today, wanted to go for a drive tonite (we've always done that, since we first started dating we would drive off and get lost) but has counseling, this weekend there is a band we love playing in the city Friday and a stand-up act we want to see Saturday, can't do both, so he wants to figure out which thing WE should do. (I choose laughter rather than ear ringing). So, that is good too.
I have made a conscious decision to not let his problems be my problems, but will still lend a sympathetic ear if necessary (for the time being). That has made the hugest differnece in my daily PMA, I plan to stick with that.
