I just wanted to ad something. I forgot last night that I saw your emphasis on your H's "myself" comment:
"Torture *myself*?"
As in maybe he was expecting you to say:
"So stop torturing me about it."
And would show that he is not aware he is, in fact, torturing himself by channeling resentment. he has no idea thats what it is--self torture over dwelling in the past.
At some point, yes, IMO (only if he brings up the A and your torture exchange or is still seething over the A) you will have to say something like
"And you have to stop torturing me about it. i don't have a time machine. I screwed up and I can't go back and change it now. I need you to forgive me. I already feel horrible enough over it all as it is."
In essence, his "haven't seen it yet" comment you said in an earlier post. Your remorse. He wants to see that you have been suffering from your actions internally and aren't just blowing it off--just as he has been suffering.
Good luck heatherg
-Stigmata-
The difference between a warrior and an ordinary man is the warrior views everything as a challenge; the ordinary man views everything as either a blessing or a curse.
-Yaqui shaman Don Juan-
...and that holds 2x true for nice guy wussies, DJ
