....dang, Heather, while I was worried about writing my follow up post you already scooped me
And I like your interaction with H waaay better than my first example. It was more like my second example only better and more customized to your H's personality. Nice job, Heather.
His "torture?" response may be either,
1. He's being an man. Pffft, right, like I'm torturing myself. Get over yourself. (but he is on some level IMO)
2. He truly feels he doesn't torture himself over the A...but somewhere is wondering how in the hell you would know he is hiding this lingering resentment.
I would back off now on showing him you know what he's thinking now and just remain affectionate towards him. Let him bring it up now if he wants. You've said your piece. If he brings up the A or the torture comment again to follow up I would try and make it clear to him again that he is your man and if this past issue ever starts to bother him that he should come to you with any questions so you both can talk it through.
The most important part of what your doing from your post is countering his negative internalizing with positive displays of affection. Negative energy drains. Positive energy builds.
His negative energy is trying to turn you negative so as to feed off it/you. But if you counter with positive feelings the negative has no choice but to starve away.
Anywho, I'm just glad you found a little something useful in my comments. I was sweating a bit about even trying to tackle something like this. I just saw the more you 2 played this game of silent moodiness the more the darkness grows.
Gotta drag this resentment stuff into the light from time to time to stunt the growth and burn it away.
-Stigmata-
The difference between a warrior and an ordinary man is the warrior views everything as a challenge; the ordinary man views everything as either a blessing or a curse.
-Yaqui shaman Don Juan-
...and that holds 2x true for nice guy wussies, DJ
