The book I referenced above is really going to help me validate and acknowledge H's feelings even if I don't agree with them. In turn, hopefully he will do the same.
In the end it doesnt really matter if he does or not, does it? because you are taking control of your emotions and you are doing what is 'right' and so can feel better, even good about yourself, regardless of his reactions.
I have found that there is much truth to the idea that this all takes time and patience.....it really does. I feel like we are finally turning a corner and if you hang in there long enough, you will probably turn the corner too. I think too many give up too soon....right before the last lap maybe
only one way to find out if its the last lap.
Keep moving forward.
When running a marathon, (which is another brutal contest of opposing internal wills) its much easier on yourself, vital even, if you chant, 'I can do it, I can do it' (affirming, encouraging, upbuilding to self)then it is to say, 'How much further, how much further. (doubt, uncertainty, irrelevant self sabotage)
It was a horrible time, driven entirely be fear
Im glad you realize that you both acted in ways that were 'not you', unacceptable even. That you were in fact being driven, despite your sometimes awareness, sometimes not, to doing things, that you (both) shouldnt have.
Thanks for the reminder to let H know that I appreciate how well things have been going. I need those reminders because I tend to focus on the bad when things are bad and then accept the good as 'normal' when things are good, not showing appreciation.
