About the boss calling the house to bitch about his D...
This is totally out of bounds and your boss knows it. If he doesn't, then he should because as a manager he probably had harrassment awareness training. I think you should very diplomatically tell him you do not care to listen to his problems, though you feel for him. If he persists, take it up with human resources.
If you do not, you run the risk of becoming part of this little secret. If things ever get nasty and you go to a lawsuit, the first thing his lawyers will ask you is why you didn't go to HR. There is surely a policy in place that tells you to do this, which you probably read. So any future allegations against your boss will become watered down. You are letting him back you into a corner and it will only get harder to get out.
