Yes - indeed DD needed a boundary set. We ARE MEAN! This is normal after vacations with little ones. Last night she cried all of ten minutes then just played in her bed until she fell asleep.
DH did make good on his promise to ML. I had fallen asleep in front of the basektball game (which my alma mater won BTW) and we went to bed when the game was over. H started teasing me about going to sleep during such an important game. This is a typical initiation for H - he talks about inconsequential stuff in order to work up to things. It wasn't great sex, he seemed tired but it was nice nonetheless. It meant the world to me that he is making more effort.
We had a short talk about how the fertility meds and such will affect my moods, the amount of support from him that I will need etc... H did seem to get it and is taking a balanced view of just how deep into the fertility stuff we want to go. What is better is that he mentioned how he recognizes our need to spend more time together and mentioned several occasions coming up when he had given thought to us potentially spending time overnight etc... Of course, H is still thinking that we have to be totally alone in a secure location to get private time but I guess that is just how he thinks of it. He doesn't think to take a walk together on a Friday night with baby in the stroller or run out for ice cream for an hour on a weeknight while the big ones watch the little. He just has difficulty navigating the momentum of life.
BF - I like your suggestion to tease him a little. Maybe if I start saying things like "we couldn't possibly..." - HE might start suggesting what we could possibly...
We are going away for a weekend in a few weeks. I am thinking of suggesting that Friday night is my night to lead the sexual festivities and Saturday is his. I am thinking of directly asking him to plan a sexual surprise. Of course, I do have reference books on the shelf if he needs an idea or two.
It also occurs to me that H is feeling generally manlier right now - he has lost weight, he is training for his next triathlon, he has gone on vacation, he has bought a new/used car for me that is roomier and he has knocked himself out to detail it, new sound system etc...so it will be nice for my hour each way commute. It seems that when he feels that he has his ducks in a row he feels a lot freer to romance me. When he feels he has done his husband/partner bit he feels freer to have sex.
I still don't know what to do with the praise bit. I think maybe I do best giving him some kind of sexually oriented compliment as a thank you e.g. Next day, "C'mere you big hunk and give me a kiss" or "Don't look at me that way, you already wore me out last night" (ok- this last one is a stretch but you get the idea).
