Tonight at dinner I happened to mention something about how we met and H piped up and said, "So you see it was totally random or a gift from God if you ask me."
- Awesome. Lotsa Ms would have said how lucky YOU were.
It is difficult for me because although I know that my H loves me it doesn't often seem as he loves the sexual side of me. It is more like he loves the mother/partner/wifey side and is suspicious of the sexy side.
- Nah. Not suspicious. Just in cruise control mode with all of the house stuff, kids, training blah blah.
The mother partner wifey side he loves is the deep deep bonding that keeps Rs going through the long haul. Never underestimate its power or importance for you both.
The only time he compliments me that way is two seconds before he approaches me for sex - he'll say "hey sexy"
- I'm sure I've done this before too. Man thing. "Why read all of the drawn-out niceties and details of the paperwork? We both already know the details (read: compliment reinforcement) Let me just sign this sucka and let's git it oooonnn."
...or sometimes before church he will jokingly say that I am going to hell for making the priest think those thoughts due to my outfit.
- I like your H. I have a comment very similar to this one but won't divulge. Bringing up your sexiness at church is a big time risque type compliment. So naughty and taboo. Good for H. Gold star.
...Am I just that tough to satisfy? Is it really too much to ask to have sex a couple of times/week most weeks and have some variety and passion? I HATE IT when two or three weeks pass between times we ML and it just doesn't seem to phase him at all. I HATE IT when we don't spend much quality time due to life circumstances. Again, doesn't seem to phase him.
- About his getting angry about verbalizing your needs. Maybe he's more focused on the "life circumstances" mor than you. Hard to get 2 people on the same wavelength most of the time--especially under stress. I know I became passive to the point of unplugging from the SL due to let's just say an MASSIVE amount of stress. Was last thing on my mind unfortunately for me.
I know you'd rather not, but did you ever think about just taking charge and getting what you want from him? A la GEL? Maybe to "train" him to get comfortable with an regular pattern? Perhaps for one whole week you agree to initiate and do everything to him while he receives. The next week he is to initiate and do everything to you from start to finish. Maybe a fun game of who can top whom.
He was single for so long, with few long term or sexual R's it is as if I am kind of like the extra rich chocolate cake - it is nice to have, not a necessity and something to indulge in occasionally.
- Hm, same here. Single long time, few long term Rs. Can't remember what/if you said. Does he MB in between the ML periods? Ill bet he does. May not admit it to you though.
Again, if you want it, will have to just take it for now. Initiate. Maybe some Horny Goat Weed in his food? LOL j/k.
...oh, and keep your rich chocolate cake away from HD's house. Sore spot.
-Stigmata-
The difference between a warrior and an ordinary man is the warrior views everything as a challenge; the ordinary man views everything as either a blessing or a curse.
-Yaqui shaman Don Juan-
...and that holds 2x true for nice guy wussies, DJ
