I didn't mean to sound so challenging... I envy you the certainty of your desire. I, sadly I believe, never had the maternal urge at the right time and place. When my H and I first married, I was 40, he was 49, headed for kidney failure and he had already had a vasectomy. For about fifteen minutes on one certain day, I seriously considered trying to get pregnant by AS. I imagined a life with a child of my own and it was lovely. When I talked about it to my H, he wasn't all that keen on the idea. I remember those fifteen minutes as being ecstatically happy, but I quickly put it away. Motherhood is a dream I've never really allowed myself. I was raised to believe that motherhood was something other girls could aspire to, but I was not entitled to it.
Of course all we talk about on this board is out discontent with the SL, so your discontent comes out stronger than your contentedness, and it seems that adding another baby to the mix would only complicate things further and put your ideals for the R even farther out of reach.
But truly, for me to be in a R, wanting a baby, and for my partner to want a baby too, and for me to be capable of getting pregnant-- for all those things to be in place at the same time is something I have never been able to imagine for myself (as commonplace as that scenario is for others...).
