FWIW....I know exactly what you are talking about when it comes to viewing the night after as the beginning of the famine to come. This is one place I have definitely changed my thinking in my R.
I know my H, like yours won't be up to it at that time....so instead of viewing that time as a famine, I view it as his time to recoup....a break...and time to work on me doing the things he needs for us to maintain our EC. I'm finding right now, that by changing my thinking I'm more easily able to do the things he likes....snuggling (like you did) on a more regular basis (that's something that fosters an EC in him) and a few other things....then in 3-4 days, I might do something to set that sexual spark again for a day or two. Because I've been working on making sure his EC is maintained in the ways he needs he is much more receptive to doing what I need as well.
I'm finding that our vicious cycle is turning around into a pro-active one. I'm now not getting resentful during those downtimes....because the EC is being maintained too. Take this past week for example...it's been since last Thursday since we ML. In the past I'd be getting kind of resentful right now that nothing has happened....again. Instead I'm fine, I know there are reasons...we've both been kind of puny lately....but what's different now is we are both doing other things to make the other feel special and wanted...and we're both looking forward to this weekend
