Last night everything was fine but my problem is back to the fact that my brain is on overdrive and I cannot sleep. H gets up very early for work and he saw me watching TV. He asked why I was still up, instead of just saying I couldn't sleep I elaborated by saying I'm really upset about things he said Wed. night. I said I needed to talk to someone, we had a few words where he started getting angry again. He said I analyze things too much and he can't take all the grilling. He said he feels like he has to report everything he does to me like I am his mom. After his shower I apologized for being so self centered. He said he thought maybe he was the one that was self centered and he said things to me the other night that were fueled by anger and alcohol and he is sorry he said it because he doesn't mean it. Then we dropped the R talk and talked about what kids were doing today. As he was leaving for work I told him to have a good day, he started to walk away then came back and apologized to ME and gave me a really tight and long hug.
I am on here dispensing DB advice all the time yet I cannot follow it myself. I really think if I could control myself things would end alot sooner than later. I need to stop pushing, pleading and pursuing, looking for reassurances. I need to just be happy with the status quo and back off. I really need to practice self-control!!!
