I let go, got honest with myself, quit trying to control the outcome, accepted the legitimacy of XH's pain, realized my own pain and accepted it, and realized that I choose how to live my life and whether or not to be happy. As long as you are still trying to "win" and "be right," you are on the wrong path. No one on this earth owes you a part of themselves they don't want to share, for whatever reason.
With the exception of truly abused spouses on this board, none of us are victims. None of us are having knives plunged to us that our attacker twists with glee. We all choose to accept certain treatment or not. We all choose whether or not to expose ourselves to toxic situations. We all choose whether or not to treat ourselves with compassion and respect.
