If her H wants to go and has asked to go, that is entirely different. My sense was that he merely "agreed" to go. That, combined with him (AT THIS POINT) being pretty clear in his own mind that he does not want an M with her, suggests that he is just going to make her happy and ease his own guilt. He probably thinks it will make the D or pseudo-D (whatever it is he envisions) easier for her. I see nothing to suggest that he is going because he actually wants to work on the R.
I got XH to go to MC for my sake. Pretty easy to do, he wasn't a bad guy and wanted to spare me pain. We went weekly for 6+ months. He would never even commit to trying. It is very clear to me that the process of MC was very bad for both of us. It prevented both of us from getting enough space to gain any perspective. Looking back, we were both probably trying to get something out of it -- he was trying to get me to recognize and accept that he did not want to stay with me, I was trying to get him to realize how "crazy" he was being. Neither of us was engaged with the other person's project and the MC merely emphasized our problems and invalidated both our perspectives.
There are very many similar stories around here about just how pointless, and worse, counterproductive, MC is when only only one partner has any interest in trying to keep the M together.
Now, things are totally different if Mamabear's H has suggested he wants to try to be in an M with her, but he is afraid things won't work out and won't make any promises, blah blah blah... Ye olde, I'll try but no guarantees line... In that case, I think MC could be very helpful.
