But he DID vent to you, right? He vented, said nasty things, but through all that, communicated things you NEEDED to hear in order to understand where he is coming from, right? This would be better if it happened in front of a therapist, but the fact that you are getting the info is good in a way.
As for being afraid of not finding a solution based therapist, I don't know how important that is (sorry Michelle). My therapist is decidedly NOT solution based but she has been extremely helpful in helping me work through things. I think you need to try to find a therapist, check them out best you can, interview them and then just GO. It seems like H may be ready for that, and if you wait too long, he may decide not to do it.
